ECDP NEWS! for immediate release BCB BCBS ECDP Research Unit announces new guidelines for ECDP eradication. Who could have imagined, during the seventies, before we conquered Global Cooling, that this new demon would rear its poisonous head? ECDP, Excessive Carbon Dioxide Production, has long been a primary focus here at the BCB, through its BCBS Services ECDP Research Unit. {Or.... you can visit this site:http://carbonfootprint.com/carbon_offset.html and pay through the nose for so-called Carbon Offsets. But keep in mind this will be an endless number of transactions as you furiously try to redeem yourself from your endless poluting ways!} While important leaders have stepped forward and laid down the gauntlet on this man-enabled evil, we citizens, who are after all the primary cause of ECDP, can do better. More than simply doing better, it's imperative that we who have carelessly spewed ECDP into the atmosphere do more than finance the plans proposed by our tireless politicians, scientists, Europe and China. Evil incarnate Our ground breaking research has revealed some harsh truths about the causes of ECDP and we aim to educate YOU, because YOU having been the problem can now be part of the solution, just like politicians and scientists! * Did you know that much of the air we breath in, which gets expelled as ECDP, is in fact wasted? We've done extensive testing under controlled conditions, and  found that people can in fact hold their breath for extended periods of time. * Did you know that indoor houseplants are a source of ECDP? How many times have you {and we're guilty of this as well} passed them by on the way to the bathroom without giving so much as a passing thought to the ECDP emitting from these poisonous exhibits? We can show you how to make plant-like displays from nothing more than cardboard, watercollors, and flour-based paste! update...for immediate release: Recent breakthroughs in our research through the BCB's BCBS ECDP Research Unit, has revealed that plants do not spew ECDP, but in fact consume it, producing oxygen in the process. This addiction needs to be dealt with none the less. It's simply to much to ask the vegetative world to to bear the burden, a burden it had no part in creating. And the more we encourage this bad behavior, the more the addiction requires to be fed. We risk some new eco-disaster if we continue to mindlessly enslave our potted friends, not to mention the harm done to human/plant relations. Plants should live the life intended for them, a free and open existence. * Did you know that carbonated beverages, like Coke, Pepsi, etc. emit ECDP? We can show you how to retrieve, then safely store soft drink based ECD untill as such time our government is up to speed on the safe handling, storage, and disposal of ECD on a large scale. * Did you know that we risk being over run by EVG {excessive vegetative growth} if ECDP is allowed to run its course? * Did you know that all of the hard work done by those famous scienitsts and beloved politicians, who've conjured up the horrific truth about ECDP, will all be for naught unless we the people put aside our petty disagreements and do our part? * Did you know that the typical fire extinguisher is responsible for ECDP? Next time you're putting out a fire, THINK first: Is the damage you're doing to our eco-system worth the near meaningless value  of material good{s} you're trying to save? Ironic, since the mere production of these goods has been enabled through the raping of mother earth. We give you tips on alternative methods for putting out your next fire. Water works fine, but in times of water use restrictions, becomes nothing more than self indulgence. We offer a comprehensive list of options, from dirt to temporarily removing all oxygen from the room. * Did you know that your next door neighbor is personally responsible for a sizable percentage of ECDP on your block? We provide you with helpful hints on educating, cajoling, flattering, and demanding that he/she do his/her part towards saving mankind from ECDP. We include appropriate contact info for ECDP Governmental Authorities in case your neighborly concerns are shunned. *** We here at the BCB shudder to think what the future holds unless mankind bands together on a national and world wide level to control, then eradicate the ECDP epidemic. In looking forward, this unification of purpose could very well be the platform from which mankind removes the very causes of war itself, or at least limit all wars to those officially sanctioned by China Russia, and France. For immediate release: BCB announces Hold That Breath Day! June 1, 2007 will mark the first annual Hold That Breath day, to be held in conjunction with Patriots for Pedal Power's Pedal-In. Those wishing to register must contact their local BCB Hold That Breath Day affiliate no later than April 30, 2007. Attention: To all Registrants, In this day and age nothing is free, except perhaps our good will. There is a non-refundable registration fee for those wishing to take part in the annual Hold That Breath Day. For the unheard of price of $39.95, you'll obtain the right to become a part of history, during this, our very first annual Hold That Breath Day. Register before  midnight March 15, 2007 and we'll include a 2006 edition of Resuscitation For Dummies. Copies are limited to the number on hand, so order now to avoid the rush. Update: Dateline March, 17, 2007 -- If you haven't yet submitted your registration, the deadline for our bonus gift to you, Resucitation For Dummies is up. Registration is still possible by mail till April 30, 2007. After that time, registration will take place at the tent flap of the Hold That Breath central tent at 7:30 am June 1, 2007. A drawing will be held for late registrars. The lucky winner will win a copy of Resucitation For Dummies for just a small handling charge of $21.98 plus tax. See you THERE! Complaints? contact: oliver@bluecollarbytes.com